Trunk Call

This is a Friday Fictioneers submission. Thanks to Kent Bonham for the prompt. 

As an aside, can anyone explain the following. Pretentious brits (amongst whose number I reside) frequently adopt a quasi-Teutonic prononunciation of Volkswagen, pronouncing the ‘w’ as a ‘v’ to create a ‘volksvargan’. Taken to extremes, they should be pronouncing the actual ‘v’ as an ‘f’ and speaking of ‘folksvargens’. They never do, though and I was wondering if anyone knew why.


Trunk, boot, whatever you want to call it: Limey Phil had been riding his luck too long. He knew he should never have done business with Tony but he’d still been shocked when Sal and Dino turned up at the shop. He’d try to sweet talk his way out of it, of course, blame his supplier but it wouldn’t work. He’d disrespected the Don. When he’d sold Tony the VW, he’d promised him the nitrous oxide admissions met government standards and these days no self-respecting mafioso can take a challenge to his green credentials and let it go.



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23 responses to “Trunk Call

  1. I’m not sure the mafia do care about green credentials, but I was tickled by the idea

  2. Well, we all know the mafia has been involved in the green movement. I mean, they do have a corner on the sanitation market. Recycling, all that stuff.

    Well done! ^_^

  3. Mafia has gone green. A few of us will go green with envy. Good story and lovely writing.

  4. Ha, I love the idea of the mafia going green 🙂

  5. good write. Sorry, a language barrier here. “Green credentials”?

  6. Smiled at this one. Loved it.
    Prententious twots are the same the world over. I think it’s a case of people trying to appear cultured, educated, like they know another language when they don’t.
    My husband is Tasmanian, but some people call Tasmanians “Taswegians” and he and most Tasmanians hate it. Geoff asks: “Is there a country called Tasway?”
    I vote we gather them all off and put them on an island together. Is Britain volunteering?
    xx Rowena

  7. Oh dear, that won’t end well.
    About the Volkswagen. Me being German and all… I love the way it’s pronounced by anglophones, and especially the veedub. So people have an accent… you should hearr me speak ze Eenglish.

  8. Nitrous oxide? Laughing gas?

  9. michael1148humphris

    We both love and hate our VWs thats why we play about with their names, but I reckon FolksCar is a great alternative name.

  10. It Volts Wagon, so put that in your boot and diesel-smoke it! I worked for Citroen for over 20 years. Now that’s a name we Brits really can’t pronounce correctly!

    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings

  11. I have never realised I say it wrong!! Perhaps it’s just easier to pronounce as “volksvargon”? Great story; I enjoyed the read 🙂

  12. Great piece. I guess Limey Phil ended up in the boot in the end. And probably recycled, knowing the Don’s green wotsits.

  13. I saw a bumper sticker years ago — “Mafia car. Keep-a you hands-a off!” Looks like Old Limey’s getting green around the gills here. Fun story, Etienne.

  14. I didn’t know they were interested in any other green than money. Who knew? Surprised I am.

  15. Nitrous oxide ADmissions? He’ll lose his green card for sure.
    Regarding your query – I’m British and I’ve always called it a VolksVagen because that’s how we pronounce it over here – nothing to do with pretension.

  16. Good writing. Even the mafia don’t want to mess up their credentials? Nice one!😊
    Btw, I have heard my dad say that the VW was meant to be a family car and that’s why it is folks wagon. Am not sure if this is truly true, but I used to think it so!

  17. The mafia goes green? Fun story.

  18. Dale

    And why wouldn’t the mafia go green? They got standards… 😉

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