This is is a Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers story. Thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting and to Pixabay for providing the photo. If you’re so minded, you’ll probably note that this story is 36 words over the limit. I have tried to pare it down, but the shortest version I managed was still nearly 200 words, and missing something; if I’m honest, I’d have preferred to give these characters even more room to breathe. There’s also a mildly off-colour joke, that I couldn’t bring myself to take out, and a couple of other weak gags which I’ve kept because they have sentimental value. Hope you don’t mind. Thanks for reading.
(1) Dear pedants, I know the t is silent.
“Are you really going out with that clown?” her girlfriends would say, mocking smiles not quite hiding their pity. Claudia knew not to let it get to her. Biffo was the first guy in circus school to pass his driving test and the stories about the size of a man’s feet were true, after all.
Biffo could never quite bring himself to accept that the most luxuriantly bearded lady in the circus could be interested in him. He wouldn’t believe her when she told him that she found Alphonso the fire-eater insufferably smug, or that the cat smell put her off Clifford the lion-tamer. So when Alphonso, who’d always carried a torch for her, told Biffo her ardour was waning, he agreed to a drag race, hoping to win her back.
Alphonso insisted Biffo go first in his miniature motorcar. Biffo only realised too late that his rival had tampered with the brakes. He tried to bail, but his oversized feet got caught behind the accelerator pedal. The last thing he heard was his horn playing La Cucharacha.
Heartbroken, Claudia married Alphonso on the rebound. To this day, he tries to convince himself they’re happy, but he’s never been able to overlook the fact their firstborn son wears size 23 shoes.