Do You Want Flies With That?

This is my entry for Friday Fictioneers for 14th August 2015. I’ve decided to offer up a bit of dialogue today. Not done this in a while, but I’ve been trawling through my old blog posts and I used to spend a significant amount of time doing stories like this. In this case, I’ve arguably lifted a joke from Emma Donoghue’s Room (unbelievably, in the midst of a story like that, she found room for at least one) but I think it’s changed enough that I’m comfortable with it.

You’re probably already aware by now, but if you are interested, I’ve decided to make my short story anthology free until Friday. US readers can find it here and UK readers here. It’s available all over the world, including AustraliaCanada and the Republic Of Ireland (though for some reason I can’t find a link). The bulk of the stories are set in provincial England but the themes should translate. All you have to do is download it, see what you think and consider posting a review. 

Plug over, onto the story.

Thanks to Madison Woods for the photo.

(As a final note, apologies I haven’t found much time to return comments over the last couple of weeks. The process of launching my book has taken over most of my free time. Am hoping normal service will be resumed soon)

***

  
-Alright Eric.

-Alright Carl.

-Didn’t expect to see you here.

-Where?

-Here…McDonalds.

-Treating myself, aren’t I? A chap can’t live on orange segments and lettuce. ‘Sides, I’ll fly this off in no time.

-True, that.

-Not that I need to, mind. Our Papillon only has antennae for me. So, what brings you here.

-‘S’our Sally.

-What about her?

-She won’t stop eating these days.

-Oh aye?

-Yesterday, she at through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one slice of cherry pie, one sausage…

-Hang on…

-What?

-Salami and sausage?

-She’s a teenager, isn’t she?

-So she is.

-I wouldn’t mind, but she left most of it.

-I hate waste. Still…

-Still what?

-Enjoy it while it lasts. She’ll eat you out of house and home and pretty soon she won’t be your little caterpillar anymore.

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42 Comments

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42 responses to “Do You Want Flies With That?

  1. I actually found this cute.. a teenager and a caterpillar are truly similar.

  2. Made me smile. And great title too!

  3. The temptation to anthropomorphise is overpowering!
    Good piece.

  4. Funny take on a prompt, enjoyed it very much.

  5. I think there’ll be more than a few dialogues today.

  6. Great dialogue and great fun. I love it.

  7. I read that book to my kids many years ago. Good to see that it’s spawned a line in this delightful story.

  8. Eric and Carl are excellent moth names. Funny dialogue. Clever story.

  9. LOL! What a great take on the prompt. The ending is hilarious!

  10. I can’t remember the joke from Room, but I liked it here, either way around. Dialogue works well here; nothing wrong with a story made up mainly of it.

  11. GAH! The end killed it. That was a twist I did not expect, and it’s so true! (I should know, I ate my dad out of house and home, too!) Well done!

  12. And then there were the good old days when caterpillars used to eat only leaves. Blame it on McDonalds. Great dialogue!

  13. A lovely humorous entry – loved it.

  14. Great dialogue and fun story!

  15. Cute and funny, and hits home for many!

  16. I have three little caterpillars who have flown the cocoon now and it doesn’t seem they ate so much as I look back on it.

  17. I had to click the link – my kids were too old for the VHC. We fed a teenage boy and didn’t go bankrupt, so, yeah. Loved the dialogue.

  18. Delightful! Love the dialogue.
    Yesterday, she at (shouldn’t this be “ate”?) through

  19. Haha – fantastic:)
    My kids love this book & I’ve read it so many times in the last 4 years I think it’s burned into my brain! Clever work twisting the simple caterpillar/butterfly story into a children growing up analogy.
    Well done.

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