The Men’s Bodybuilding Olympiad (Doggerel #6)

I’m not really into poetry, as such, but I enjoy the discipline of finding rhymes to fit a theme. Scansion and rhythm, I can take or leave. I’m currently in a phase when I struggling to find the time to write fiction, but my hope is that, by writing pieces like this, I’ll ward off creative atrophy.

This is a bit of light verse in response to an Authonomy challenge. The theme was gold, which had the potential to inspire something serious. In the end, I came up with this, and garnered about five third place votes, which isn’t bad (my Yeats pastiche got none, not that I’m bitter).

It’s a thing to be savoured,
Your manly form on display,Like Michaelangelo’s David,
On a really cold day,
But sit down, pay attention, boy, do as you’re told,
Forget the advice that you’ve already had,
There’ll be hard work ahead if you’re going for gold,
In the Men’s Bodybuilding Olympiad

To cultivate a physique,
That’s statuesque, Greek,
Focus attention, on your pecs and your abs,
Sculpt them with Tzatziki and donner kebabs
Stay true, and stay bold,
To look like Adonis’s Dad,
As you home in on gold,
in the Men’s Bodybuilding Olympiad

But to really begin to look like a man,
Do some more bicep curls with a half-full ale can,
And if you really intend to get a body of note,
Do a thousand more reps with the TV remote
Just keep strong,my son, and don’t fold,
Grit your yellowish teeth, keep your pecker up, lad,
And never forget that you’re going for gold,
in the Men’s Bodybuilding Olympiad

And your masculine glow,
When you take your place on that podium,
Will be worth worth six months or so
Matrimonial odium,
So if your missus tends to scold,
Tells you it’s nothing but a fad,
Tell her you’re homing in on gold
In the Men’s Bodybuilding Olympiad

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