Not Missing Much

This is a friday fictioneers submission for 26th December. I suspect it’s over the 100 words, and it’s also quite an abstract, if genuine, interpretation. Thanks to Bjorn Rudberg for the photo.

Incidentally, be sure to check out my festive ghost story. The full version can be found here

Season’s greetings.

-“What’s it like out there?” She asks. If he had to find a word to describe her tone, he’d go with plaintive.
-“Cold, love,” he replies, “scary.” His tongue trips over the white lie, but, trapped inside by her condition, it’s kinder that she doesn’t know what she’s missing.
-“I thought I heard singing, Dad.”
-“No, hon, it must’ve just been the wildcats fighting. ”
-“But, I thought…”
He cuts her off, “Trust me, you’re safer where you are.”

He smiles, plumps her pillow, hoping she doesn’t notice the edge to his words. The truth is, he’s heard word of a cure and he doesn’t know what the hell he’s going to do.



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23 responses to “Not Missing Much

  1. Intriguing tale, nicely written.
    AnElephant enjoys.

  2. Not easy. what to say.. it’s like balancing on a narrow ledge..

  3. Etienne, you naughty boy! Not even taking the time to count your words this week. I suspect your stocking will be filled with coal tonight, but at least you’ll have something to burn in the grate this winter. It could be worse.

    As to the story of unknown word count–I enjoyed it thoroughly. Well done.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  4. It left me feeling empty. But in a good way. Can you feel empty in a good way? 😉

  5. A good story. I like the way you’ve shown the father’s dilemma, and left it open as to why he is so uncertain. It might not be a cure? He doesn’t really want things to change?

  6. Very interesting. To me, it sounds like he wants to keep her sick and inside.

  7. Dear Etienne,

    A dark tale with uncertain motivating factors. A mystery for the future. Well written.



  8. Nicely done – leaves the reader wondering if the father is a good guy or bad.

  9. Etienne, I agree that it sounds like he wants to keep her unwell and inside for some reason. A bit dark but well written. — Suzanne

  10. Very nicely written. It left me with many questions. Is the father bad or good? What does the young girl have that keeps her inside? Hmmmm…

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