Scene From A Shopping Precinct (Yorkshire, 1983)

This is today’s Friday Fictioneers submission. This month, I’ve been focussing on Nanowrimo so instead of coming up with a proper story, I offer this piece of lightly fictionalised memoir (for fact fans, in real life, the cause of the dispute was a scented eraser). For non-UK based readers, a precinct is like a mall with more litter.

Thanks to Rochelle for the picture.

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Stevie looks around. He’s a big boy now, six in the autumn but he’d never felt smaller. The people walked past, not paying him any attention. It felt a bit like when he’d waded into the sea at Bridlington. Except he’d had has dad with him then. Today, he’s on his own.

He wishes he’d never thrown that tantrum. He wishes he hadn’t run out of the shop, but they’d said they’d buy him a toy and they didn’t. Most of all, he wishes his parents were with him.

It’s getting dark now and he doesn’t know what to do. Dad said if he got lost, he should ask a policeman but Mum told him he should never talk to strangers. He can’t see one anyway. He’s lost and starts to cry.

And then he sees them. There’s a look on his mum’s face. He doesn’t understand it, but when she hugs him he knows it’s going to be alright.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “Scene From A Shopping Precinct (Yorkshire, 1983)

  1. Dear Etienne,

    And he’s forgotten about wanting a toy. Perspective is everything. Great story. Thanks for kicking things off.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Seems we’ve taken very similar routes this week.

  3. We also have somewhat similar stories. My brother “ran away” once when he was little, but didn’t get too far. I’m sure this is real more than we’d as parents would like it to be. Well done.

    janet

  4. Nice point of view in this story.

  5. Poor Stevie. Conflicting information about talking to the police but not talking to strangers did not help him. Well told fictionalized memoir. I did not know about a shopping precinct. Thanks for the lesson.

  6. AnElephant fretted over Stevie, so well written.

  7. The POV in this is delightful. Love all the thoughts running through his little head – the “do this” “don’t do that” scenario.

    P.S Except he’d had has dad – I think you mean his dad, not has dad

  8. Flash fact is a great way to go for Friday Fictioneers, Etienne, and I really enjoyed the POV here. One of my faves that you’ve delivered recently.

    Best wishes for the rest of NaNoWriMo.

    Cheers!
    MG

  9. Lovely story. You’re right about the litter.
    Typo corner: ‘His’ father?

  10. I’m very glad you let him find his mum at the end of this story!
    Nicely written, the POV really brings out that confusion/fear – and finally relief.

  11. Etienne, Good story with a great happy ending. Well written from a child’s viewpoint. 🙂 — Susan

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