Crow Magnon

This is my Friday Fictioneers submission for August 8th. Thanks, by the way, to everyone who read and commented on my last submission and apologies that I only got round to looking at a handful of other stories before running out of time. Am on holiday this week, and am likely to struggle again so please accept my advance apologies.

This is riddled with historical innaccuracies and it’s a long way from the elegiac story I wanted to turn in, but once I thought of the title, I had no choice.

Thanks to Bjorn Rudberg for the photograph.

-A’reet Bob
-Aye, Jim
-How’s family?
-Grand, Jim. Yours?
-Youngest keeps drawing on the walls.
-Still?
-Aye. Still. It were a mammoth this time.
-Again?
-I know. You’d think she’d do a Sabretooth once in a while.
-Aye…You seen that Jeff?
-Nah. What about him?
-He’s moved caves.
-Again?
-Was banging on about it the other day.
-Caves a cave at the end of the day.
-Ah, but this is a state of the art cave.
-State of the art?
-All mod cons.
-Like what?
-Well, there’s a fire for one thing
-Oh.
-And a really big hole in the wall to let the air in.
-Jammy get.
-I know.
-It were the same when he got that Flint head axe. Always banging on about that, he were.
-Tell me about it. Bugger wouldn’t lend it me either.
-Well, you did lose the last one.
-I didn’t lose it. I just archived it for posterity. Few thousand years from now, it’ll be in a museum.
-Anyway, smile’ll be on the other side of his face soon enough.
-How come?
-The missus is getting me a bronze scythe for me birthday.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Crow Magnon

  1. Dear Etienne,

    This has a sort of Flinstones feel to it. Cute.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. I could really hear the accents as I read this. Good job.

  3. This is hilarious, Etienne. I burst out laughing at saving the axe for posterity. Thanks for the fun.

  4. Somehow I believe that the moving progress for innovation is envy.

  5. I’m lovin’ the Scottish brogue, man. Fun story, Etienne, and the liberties you take with history, for the most part, make the story all the more charming. The only clunker that went a step far for me was the reference to a museum. Your ending sings.

    Nicely handled.

    Have a great holiday!

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  6. Oh my… can we cast John Cleese and Michael Palin as the cavemen? Brilliant.

  7. Well, there’s a fire for one thing. What a great line! This was a treat to read – really!

  8. Lovely tale and totally realistic except for the word ‘bugger’ which first appeared as late as 3200BC.

  9. Etienne, I loved the dialogue with the accent. This was great fun. 😀 Well written as always. 🙂 —Susan

  10. Ok. That is some funny dialogue. And Geordie accent to boot. It’s like watching Saturday night takeaway with any dec.

  11. Cute how they know there will be museums in the future!

  12. Dear Etienne, Great story! They must have a magic ball which is amazing because they were right – we do have museums! ha ha Great story! Nan 🙂

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