Quite A Tempura

Okay, I know tempura isn’t, technically, a Chinese dish but I couldn’t think of a better title. I was trying to get a lawyer in it somewhere, so I could call it Chop Sue-y but it felt a little contrived. This is my Friday Fictioneerssubmission for July 25th. Thanks to Marie Gail Stratford for the photo and Rochelle for the inspiration.

May I also remind readers-hopefully for the last time as it’s getting a mite undignified-that my bookis still very much available and selling like whatever the antithesis of hot cakes is.)

They say it’s best to end a relationship on neutral territory. Brenda was hoping for Switzerland but, with Dignitas around the corner, I wasn’t going to take any chances. I considered sticking us on the Ryanair flight to Dublin, but even I’m not that bitter (1).

In the end, I settled for a Chinese restaurant. Big mistake, I forgot about the chopsticks. It’s impossible to dump someone whilst shovelling individual grains of rice into your mouth with knitting needles. Almost. And the Katsu curry! The least said about that the better. At least when she stabbed me, it didn’t hurt that much.

(1) This is a pop at Ryanair not Dublin. I spent 8 happy weeks in Phibsborough at the turn of the Millenium.




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37 responses to “Quite A Tempura

  1. Dear Etienne,

    She didn’t take the break up well, did she?



  2. Haha I love a good pun! Tempura and Katsu curry are Japanese dishes and also eaten with chopsticks – so your story works just as well with those 🙂 Sweet little story!

  3. Etienne, Funny story and well written once again. Things at the restaurant could have gone worse, I guess. Well done. 🙂 —Susan

  4. camgal

    Hilariously written Etienne and he may not be that bitter but she was most definitely not in mutual agreement with the break up. well done.

  5. Well done. I love the snappy tone of this story.

  6. That’s pretty funny. Still, maybe better there than at a steakhouse where she’d have access to sharp knives. I like the Ryanair dig. 🙂

  7. Dear Etienne,
    Sounds like your character chose a particularly poor Chinese restaurant, but that works as apparently he wasn’t wishing to waste a single additional pound on this relationship. And chopsticks aren’t particularly threatening as weapons.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  8. I went down a similar path. How funny people can come to such similar stories from a photo. I enjoyed this quite a bit!

  9. I had a neck of a time with my title as well. Yours is better.

  10. Is there a safe place when breaking up with someone? I suspect a bitter person could use almost anything as a weapon of mass destruction.

  11. Just another example of why breaking up is hard to do!


  12. Good job he didn’t break up with her on the golf course! Those golf clubs can be nasty when expertly wielded.

  13. Should have settled for neutral territory. Oh well …


  14. I’m not sure that a fork would have been any better! 😉

  15. Some people just don’t want to be happy! Nan 🙂

  16. Great little story. Hope the waiting staff weren’t offended.

    (I’ll try and download the book. Thanks for this.)

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