Flooded Market

This is a belated Sunday Photo Fiction submission which I’ve decided to make a prequel to my bookfor which sakes are stubbornly remaining. in single figures.

Although the picture is of a lake in Leicestershire, it reminds me a little of Lymm Dam which fits the Warrington location.

Thanks to Al for the photograph

Jesus, where are Emerson and Palmer?
-You what, Bix?
-Emerson and Palmer.
-I dunno about Emerson, but Palma’s in Mallorca, innit?
-Idiot.
-It is. Me sister went there for her hen do.
-I mean, Emerson, Lake and Palmer. It’s a group.
-It is? Since when?
-Since the early 1970s.
-The hell would I know about that.
-It’s music history, Timbo. You’ll be telling me you’ve never heard of Barclay James Harvest, next.
-…
-Anyway, Timbo. What is it?
-It’s heroin.
-It’s what?
-Heroin. 3 million gallons of heroin.
-Timbo…?
-Yes, Bix.
-It’s a lake.
-It’s homeopathic, innit?
-Homeopathic heroin?
-Yeah. It’s dilute.
-Dilute?
-Makes it stronger, doesn’t it?
-Who says?
-Me sister’s bloke.
-Your sister’s bloke.
-He’s a consultant homeopath isn’t he?
-And how long did that take him?
-Well, it’s an hour of lessons but the stretch it out over six years.
-Right.
-Anyway, he’s out for a walk and he drops a bag of smack in the lake.
-How?
-He was feeding the swans.
-Feeding them heroin?
-Well, would you want to see a swan on a comedown?
-Erm…,
-They can break a man’s arm, you know.
-So what happened.
-I mean, at first, he’s devastated. He was going to have that smack for his tea. But then, he remembers I’m in the business.
-He does?
-Yeah. So he gives me a call, says he’ll sell it as a job lot if the price is right.
-He offered to sell you the lake?
-Offered to sell me three million gallons of homeopathic heroin.
-For how much?
-A hundred grand.
-A hundred grand?
-Well, he’s looking to buy a villa in Mallorca.
-Does Baz know about this?
-Baz? Why’d he want to know?
-Well, it’s his money, isn’t it?
-He’ll be delighted.
-Well…that or he’s about to turn you into 3 million gallons of homeopathic henchman.

nb, if I’ve upset any homeopaths or Warringtonian drug dealers, remember the more dilute your ire, the more keenly I’ll feel it.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Flooded Market

  1. Al

    That is fantastic!! I love it 😀

  2. Lyn

    I can hear these two talking…so well written, you’ve almost got me believing it 😮 “an hour lesson stretched out over six years” just about says it all 😀

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