Order Dispatched

This is a Friday Fictioneers submission for 6th June. Thanks to Doug McIlroy for the photo.

Without the Internet, he had no doubt he’d have ending up firing gunshots indiscriminately in the precinct by now. It would have been the only way to keep himself from being devoured by the overwhelming sense of anomie. Instead, he’d been given a chance to be good at something, to make an identity for himself.

A message flashed onscreen-Your Order Has Been Dispatched. He smiled.

The idea had come to him from an old Hitchcock film. It was far easier to avoid detection for one’s crimes if someone else could be persuaded to carry them out. Granted, a little quid pro quo was to be expected, but there were always violent men in need of a little hacking expertise and the Internet was the greatest labour exchange device there was.

He blew out a candle. The desk was beginning to look bare; there were only his geography teacher and the Baxter twins to go.

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35 Comments

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35 responses to “Order Dispatched

  1. Interesting and well-written but I was a bit puzzled as to what crime was being committed exactly.

  2. Oh a puppet master pulling the strings.. I have a feeling his revenge felt justified… and he could continue his dark work instead of ending up dead after yet another massacre.

  3. he’d have ending up firing gunshots (do you mean “ended up”?

    Firing a real gun or killing over the internet – Right?

  4. Very creative! Makes me wonder how many murder victims were on his list originally….

  5. This story is too deep for a mere 100 words!

  6. Dear Etienne,

    There’s a subtle chill factor to this. He sounds like the kind who could go over the edge and use a gun instead of a keyboard. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  7. Dear Etienne, Good story and it is sort of Hitchcockish. Good ploy and how many names were on the original list? Nan 🙂

  8. Oooh, well done. I hope I wasn’t at school with him. A clever take on the prompt and the original stories. Mail-order contract killing? Love it!

  9. Remote control murder – chilling.
    I like the onscreen message “Your Order Has Been Dispatched” – like he’s just ordered the full “fall down the stairs and make it look like an accident – buy one get one free” package 🙂

  10. Etienne, Good story and scary. O_o It sounds like he’s one of those vicious hackers who attacks people on the internet and causes some to commit suicide. Well written. I’m glad in this case it’s fiction. 🙂 —Susan

  11. Dear Etienne,

    I hated the Baxter twins too.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  12. Far to good for just 100 words. Great job!

  13. Strangers on a Train for the Internet age — very well done. This was excellent, darling.

  14. A chilling tale for the times in which we live.
    Geography teachers (and Baxter twins) everywhere will be watching their backs!

  15. Truly chilling with the times we live in. Great reference to Hitchcock, the master of Suspense. I recall that movie and the out come. 🙂

  16. This reminds me of a character in a series that just ended called Burn Notice. A wonderful series, too. Good work!

  17. An interesting take on the prompt – I enjoyed this.

  18. Etienne,
    A serial killer on the loose with the internet as his playground–pretty scary. Whatever will he do when he comes to the end of his list?

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  19. My geography teacher was not great either, but he went naturally. 🙂

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