Elevate Me Later

This is anotherFriday Fictioneers

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The lift doors opened.

“Ground,” Barked Grainger. The wizened operator pushed the Ground floor button without speaking, absurd toytown uniform straining over his paunch.

They hadn’t moved. Grainger barked, “What’s happening, man?”

The operator looked over with black, pupilless eyes and screamed. Grainger felt a tightness in his chest as he flailed for the emergency button.

When he awoke, the lift was empty. Another vision, he supposed; a manifestion of guilt according to his shrink. He felt different, though, less vigorous, somehow. He looked down to see that ridiculous toytown uniform encasing his skin.

The lift doors opened. He waited.

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50 Comments

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50 responses to “Elevate Me Later

  1. “a manifestion of guilt” – Very beautifully put across!

  2. I love the twists and turns of this story

  3. Good one Etienne, I liked the mystery you create, very well done.

  4. Dear Etienne,

    Chilling visions. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  5. chilling and mysterious. the black, pupilless eyes would’ve scared me to death. well done.

  6. Scary visions and a mysterious ending. This is a good hook for a continuing story. Well done.

  7. I like the title and you did an excellent job of choosing descriptive words, Etienne. The “black, pupilless eyes” was particularly good. Right at the beginning, you need “barked”, rather than Barked.” 🙂

    janet

    • Thank you for reading. I thought the capitalisation looked wrong, but I obviously wasn’t listening when we did direct speech in English at school. Sadly, I can’t lay claim to the title-I have the band Pavement to thank for that.

  8. Scary and so full of mystery! Makes me want to know more- great plot to develop into a long story 🙂

  9. Etienne,
    that’s great and I loved the end. I guess by the last word that he is now stuck in the elevator, doomed to be the attendant. Until when, I wonder.
    -David

  10. Yikes! An awesome concept, love it!

  11. Karma’s a . . . well, you know. Nice reading!

  12. Wow! I had to read it a couple of times, but it left me wondering if Grainger had swapped places with the elevator operator… Nicely done! 🙂

  13. Great story with an unexpected ending – well written.

  14. Chilling. Suspenseful. Well played.

  15. Enjoyed your take on the prompt. My dad volunteers as an elevator operator at an old courthouse in Kansas, so I thought about writing something in this vein this week. 🙂

    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

  16. Wow – this is a good start on a creepy movie or book! Awesome, the black pupilless eyes got to me. Very good and well written. Thanks! Nan

  17. Ohh, Etienne, this is chilling.,Especially the pupilless eyes and Grainger finding himself in the uniform. Great story.

  18. Ah. a new victim to be swallowed by the uniform… so creepy.

  19. All the ghost stories on FF this week finished my nerves. Last night, the door to the pantry in my kitchen creeked open. I nearly screamed. Figured out it was the draft from the open window. Hoo boy!

  20. Scary stuff… dark imaginings 🙂

  21. Spooky and scary and very well done!

  22. Ho ho. That’s rather scary. Real nightmare stuff. Movie is right.

  23. Something going on here and his shrink is way off base about what it is!

  24. Chilling -made me really shudder!Loved this truly dark tale of real terror:-)

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