This is a Sunday Photo Fictionsubmission. This week, I wanted to do something mildly surreal involving kestrels but I’ve ended up falling back on a popular, if macabre theme.
Photo Copyright Al Forbes
I read about Reflection in one of Jolene’s self-help books. It’s supposed to be a ‘Route to Growth’. Jolene’s self-help books talk regularly about ‘Routes to Growth’ but this one supposedly really works. The idea goes: it doesn’t matter how many mistakes you make if you learn from them. When you do something you regret, don’t beat yourself up about it, just work out where you went wrong and do it better next time. No blame, no guilt, just self-improvement. For someone like me, it had to be worth a punt even if I’d had my fingers burned before. I never did find out what the Seven Secrets To A Happy Marriage were though Jolene and I were at least temporarily re-united in our ire when we couldn’t get our money back for the Anger Management Bible.
I’ve found a spot in the woods to do my Reflecting. There’s a pond there where they used to drown witches. That’d put a lot of people off, but not me; if anything, it’s a bonus. It keeps most of the dog walkers away. The self-help book makes it clear you can’t Reflect properly if people keep disturbing you.
Some people say I’m too literal in the way I think but I like the fact I can see my reflection in the pond when I do my Reflecting. Seeing my face looking back at me keeps me grounded, stops me thinking about what I’m going to make for my tea when I get home. If you’re going to Reflect properly, you need to be able to concentrate. That’s what it says in the book, anyway. Not that I have a problem, anyway. Sometimes, I’ll be concentrating so hard, that it’ll be almost dark by the time I’m done Reflecting, and I’ll need to run for the stop to get the last bus home.
The only trouble is, the Reflection isn’t working. At least, it isn’t working yet. I can’t shake off the regret, or the thought that I’d make the same mistakes again. It isn’t first time Jolene’s self-help books have let me down, though at £6.99 a pop, that’s not much consolation. Perhaps it’s time to try something different, get another technique from another book, forget Reflection, move on. It’d probably be for the best of I stopped coming to the pond; one day, a dog-walker’s going to come across Jolene’s body and I won’t be quick enough to deal with them.