Berne In Hell

This is my second Friday Fictioneers submission. In the past, I’ve oscillated between whimsical and maudlin but I’ve never done macabre. Arguably, I haven’t pulled it off here but I felt it was worth a go.

More examples here

Photograph Copyright Bjorn Rudberg

120 words

When the zombies came, all was chaos until a sort of uneasy equilibrium broke out. The zombies did their own thing and the remaining pre-undead let them get on with it. In time, though, that wasn’t enough. The left an unearthly mess and the zombie diet was associated with significant morbidity. In the end, the zombie elders decided enough was enough. They’d introduce public services paid for out of general taxation. It worked for a while, but then the richer zombies started moving to Switzerland. The naysayers told them it was a betrayal of their zombie ideals; that it meant they were dead inside. It didn’t matter, though; the skiing was so much better if you didn’t mind the cold.




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24 responses to “Berne In Hell

  1. There’s so many great little thoughts and ideas in this. Lovely, and mirrors real (un)life too.

  2. Is this a story or a documentary? Looking around the world, I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

  3. So the Zombies have finally taken complete control. Fun story.

  4. Ha ha, great little piece 🙂

  5. Zombies are gonna win! Nan

  6. I’m always drawn to a discerning zombie, one who likes the finer things in un-life. Nice wry tone to this.

  7. This is fun! I visualized the “betrayer” zombies whizzing down snow covered slopes with macabre grins frozen on their faces. Wonder if they stayed in a zombie lodge 😀

  8. The phrase “remaining pre-undead” gives me the shivers! I guess they’re headed for zombiedom eventually. Still, Switzerland sounds nice 🙂

  9. Dear Etienne,

    Clever title. Interesting plot.



  10. Fun with zombies, eh? Reminds me just a bit of “The Lost Boys” in the sense of finding humor in the un-humorous situations. I love “the pre-undead”, as if they’re just waiting to become undead.

    Right here: “The left an unearthly mess”, although it may seem that the left is an unearthly mess, I think you mean “they.” 🙂

    Great title, BTW.


  11. Ah ha!ha!Now I know why the Swiss Alps always beckoned me!;-)This is a deliciously macabre tale with dollops of black humour-loved it Etienne 😀

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